If you’re an adoptee who is thinking about searching for your birth parents, it’s normal to feel a bit apprehensive. After all, this is a big decision that could potentially change your life. But how do you know if you’re really ready to take this step? Below are some things to consider that may help you make up your mind.
Search for a tool you can use to find them.
Before you even consider finding your birth parents, you may want to find a reliable tool to find them. A true people finder is a website that helps individuals find their birth parents. It requires users to create an account and provide some personal information, such as their name and date of birth. The site then searches for matching records and provides the user with a list of potential matches. Users can also search for specific information about their birth parents, such as the person’s name or city of residence. The more information you have on them, the more accurate your search results will be.
Consider your feelings about your birth parents.
When considering whether or not to search for your birth parents, it is important to think about your feelings toward them. Some people feel a strong desire to find their birth parents, while others feel indifferent or even hostile towards them. If you are undecided or have mixed feelings, it may be wise to wait until you are more certain before embarking on such a searching process. Some of the most important questions include: Why do I want to find them? What will I do if I do find them? Are they even alive? What kind of relationship do I want with them if we meet? These are just a few of the things you need to ask yourself before making a decision.
Understand the risks involved.
One of the biggest risks is that you may not be prepared for what you find. You may not have the same family structure as your birth parents or you may not get along with them if you do find them. It is also possible that they will not want to meet you or that they are no longer living. Another risk is that information about them could be difficult to obtain or that it could be inaccurate. Meeting your birth parents can be an emotionally overwhelming experience and it is important to consider how you would deal with these emotions before making any decisions. There may be other risks as well. For instance, they may not want anything to do with you and may be unsupportive or even hostile. There is also no guarantee that they will be willing or able to provide the answers you’re looking for. However, if you go into the process knowing all of these things and still feel confident that this is what you want, then it may be something worth exploring further.
Create a list of questions for your birth parents.
Creating a list of questions for your birth parents can also be helpful in determining if you’re ready. What are your biggest concerns? What do you hope to gain from the experience? What kind of information do you want to have about them? Once you have a better understanding of what exactly it is that you want, you can begin to make a plan and prepare yourself for what could be an emotional journey.
Meet with a mental health professional.
Before trying to find your birth parents, you may want to meet with a therapist or counselor who can help you explore your feelings and motivations around finding your birth parents. This is important because it is likely that searching for your birth parents will stir up a range of emotions—from excitement and happiness to sadness and anger. It’s important to be prepared for all of these possible reactions and have someone who can support you through the process. If after doing all of this research, you still decide that you want to find your birth parents, the next step is to start looking.
Hopefully, the tips above have helped you figure out whether or not you should search for your birth parents. It’s essential to consider these factors so that you’re well prepared for whatever outcome.